Oh my gosh for the love of your own life STOP! Be quiet! Stop fighting! Pick up your shoes! Pick up your backpack! Pick up your socks! We do not live in a trash can! Do your homework! Clean up your room! Hurry up, you are making everyone late! Quit pestering your sister! You are not the mom! You are not the dad! You are not the boss of them!
I am most definitely having one of those days where sitting in a white padded room might be most beneficial to me in my current frame of mind.
Have you ever had one of these days? This use to be my daily mantra. Doing what I could to survive the day; and I do say survive intending for it to be interpreted in it most literal way.
Well today has been one of "those days". It started this morning during our regular off to school routine for the fourth day in a row we were running very very late. See school starts at 7:45 but the teacher of one of my little people wants them to be there by 7:15 because apparently school actually starts before 7:45 and when the children don't get there early then they do not get the time needed to prepare for their day properly. So we have moved our alarms back from 6:30 to 6am everyday in efforts to be out the front door by 7:10-7:15. When our shortest short stack doesn't want to get up because she is exhausted (rightfully so, it is early). So instead of getting dressed and ready for school she either goes back to bed, plays in her room, or bickers with her brother because she can be a little grumpy in the morning. So this morning at 7:17 (late again) I walked out and told everyone it was time to go. She came walking down the hallway, no socks, no shoes, no lunch and the frustration that had built over the last 3 days came to a boil. It was all I could take.
So fast forward to this afternoon. The kids came home on the bus and it was as if we picked right back up where we had left off this morning. I asked the kids to go play in their room and close the door so I could get a few minutes of quiet. A couple of them instantly obeyed and the other two lingered asking questions in the office. It was a moment of desperation, that moment when I said I need some silence, it was a cry for help, and I could take no more.
Noah asked, "mom can I get you anything? Something to drink? Something to snack on?". "No, I am fine thank you", I replied. My answer was followed with more questions more talking and all I needed was at least 5 minutes of silence.
So what happened next, you ask? I said, "ahhhh, I just want to pull my hair out!" To which my sweet Kyra said in a very puzzled tone, "you want to pull your hair out??" I said under my breath, "YES!" She said back, "Why would you want to pull your hair out?" It was in this moment that I retracted my answer to a snack and said, "yes please get me a mint Zone bar". Kyra replied quickly after my request, "oh, is that for people that want to pull their hair out???". To which I pleaded, "Kyra, go play in your room, pleeeeaaassse". She went walking to her room and as she reached the hallway where the other kids now gathered I heard her say quietly to the others as if they were huddled and ready to break (like a football team), "she said she wants to pull her hair out(?!?!)". It was in this moment that I let out a quiet chuckle and decided I needed to write.
One of these days I am going to miss these not so quiet but definitely chaotic moments in my life. Gotta write it down because today I am already missing my short term memory, or so it seems, haha.
"Creative Design, photography and writing are an art that spills out from the heart and take on a tangible shape that you can treasure for a lifetime."