I am seriously undone today God, I feel like I am being stretched beyond the length of my understanding. What is happening in my soul, I cannot explain. I feel like there is a part of me that is leaving, not a part I want to stay, the part of me that has judged me at every turn that has showed me its ugly face when I look into the mirror. I feel as though I have seen myself in glimpses lately without the filter of that judgmental eye telling me constantly that I am ugly, no one wants to be your friend, too fat (yep, I said it and if you are offended by my calling it like it is then chances are you have said this to yourself too). 

Loneliness, unloved, unwanted, abandoned, cast away…

“I will just never have friends, I will never fit in, I just don’t belong….” I remember making this statement for the first time as a very young girl, what hurt more was that this statement followed me into adulthood. I was trapped behind the bars of deceit. 

As a mother myself there are so many emotions that are tied into this very special day. I love that I get to celebrate my mama. When I see my mom I see the beauty of God’s love.  Is she perfect? No. However, she is perfectly made and was perfectly chosen to be the woman to hold my hand through all the many stages of my life. So I recently wrote a Mother's Day letter for my mom, which she has yet to receive but that is okay, this time tomorrow we will have laid across her bed while I read the letter to my precious mom word for word.