So I was thinking about my Random Tuesday Musing and trying to decide what I would share about today. This morning as I emerged from my mama chambers, tossing a hat on to cover my messy bed hair. The first thing I announce to the room is "10 minutes". We have 10 minutes before we have to leave.
Then the check list commenced:
1. Are your lunches ready?
2. Everyone have your backpacks?
3. Reading logs signed?
From the dining room I hear a giggling little girl (Celeste) ask about socks. Then
I realize there is one (a kid) missing. This happens almost every morning without fail, Kyra who believes to her core that she is a princess and there is no convincing her otherwise and why would we want to for that matter. Responsibility is not a priority on her to do list you will find things noted like this:
1. nails painted?
2. What do I want to wear? (for this hour)
3. Where is my monkey?
4. Monster high barbies
5. Crayons (check), coloring book (check)
the list does go on....
We have had to enforce a new rule especially for her, that her lunches are made and ready to go the night before for this very reason. Anyways, so I ask where she is and no one knows... let me cut in here for a second and add that returning from any kinda of school break/vacation (ie; spring break, summer vacation, thanksgiving break, Christmas break, etc.) is always hard on us because we really take advantage of our breaks and vacations, hehe. So I ask the older 3 to start putting her lunch together while I go find her and as I round the corner she greets me with the worse case of bed head I think she has ever had and a look on her face that says, I am so not ready to greet anybody yet, haha. I rush back to the kitchen finish making her pb&j sandwich peel and apple and pack the lunch. Then Noah adds to the to do list pushing #1 yet again to down as his #10 thing climbs, pushes and shoves it way to the top becoming our new #1. He could not find his sport bottle for his water for lunch for school. We look and look and look and come up with nothing. Can I just say that chaos, attitude, tempers or anything that makes me feel like I have started my day off kilter just wrecks my mornings. So, yes I did just openly admit that I can very easily become a grumpy butt in the morning. I usually wake up really wide awake and ready to face the day but we have been having some really late nights too. So anyways, Grace was not my first, middle or last name this morning. When the sport bottle was no where to be found and I glanced at the clock to see that we were now running 6 minutes late. I let out a loud sigh (still a sign but every one in the room heard it). Oh well no water bottle for you today, you will have to buy a drink in the cafeteria. Let this be a reminder to have all your stuff together before 7:30 in the morning. Now EVERY ONE to the car NOW! Driving all the way to school I am giving the lecture about priorities and morning routines.
Now here is the deal I know that listening to mom go on about how we could have planned better and used our time more wisely has to not be their most favorite way to start their morning but I wasn't thinking about that instead I was like a train that is running late trying to make the pass over the crossing in time before one schedule totally wrecks or collides with another.
The bell rang as the kids open the car door to unload. Kyra makes her way to the front of the car in tears and all I keep thinking is "I am such a terrible mom, making my kids cry before school." So I ask her, "Kyra, what is the matter?" She lets out a sobbing reply, "I'm gonna miss you." She kisses my cheek and gathers her things up as she exits the car dropping things all the way to the door. I pulled up to the exit of the school took a deep breath in, held on to it for a few second and exhaled slowly. Even when I am a mess, they love me.
Even when my answers or responses and reactions are extreme or harsh, they love me and with tears they tell me they love me and will miss me while they are away for a few short hours. There is nothing else about being a mom, not the taxi hat, the short order cook, toilet cleaner, floor sweeper, laundry mat operator, None of it will ever make me feel like a super hero the way their "I love you", hug, snuggles and all around love for me ever will. The only reason I can say I am a Mom Super Hero is because I am first a Mom and my little people, who I am so blessed to parent, love me.
So, because my little people are home and doing homework as I type, I will not be editing this for typos, spelling, or punctuation. Today I am just a transparent mom making a log of my day.
Oh and when they kids bus pulled up to the house before I ever opened the front door I hear my little Ky yell out to me, "Mamma!!" and as I walked out the door and turned the corner to make myself visible to her and the bus driver she jumps up and down both hands in the air and charges for me. That my friends seriously just melts my heart.
Tonight I will pray for more grace tomorrow and remember that I am a mom in training!